Max

I made a friend yesterday. Despite not having much in common, we enjoyed our time together. Unfortunately the communication barrier was high, so not a lot was said. And since I'm not well versed in the body language of fish, it was particularly difficult to understand certain things. The entire time I was snorkeling, he swam beside me or underneath me -- often within a few inches of my mask. When it came time for me to get out of the water, it was like saying adieu to a good friend. As I got closer to the beach, he swam more frantically as if I was leading him away from his comfort zone. Maybe he knew I was leaving and didn't want me to. Still, he stayed with me. If I cupped my hands in front of me he would swim into them. I did this several times. He followed me until his silhouette disappeared into the murky water where the waves met the beach. I imagined him waiting there for a while after I got out. For whatever reason, the whole scenario made me think of my dad, making it particularly difficult to part ways.

Last night, the show went on -- as it must -- in my dreams. I don't recall the exact context, but Papa Max made an appearance. I was as happy as I was surprised to see him. I responded to his presence like I always do when he pays me a visit. It seemed very strange, but since he was unarguably right there in front of me, I couldn't put the pieces together. I usually attempt to ignore the resulting uncertainty and make to the most of my time with him. At some level, I always know that it's been a long time. Often, I find myself trying to explain to him what I've done with myself in the years he's been gone. This inevitably brings on a feeling of discomfort that lingers into the waking hours, and evolves into a momentary driving force in my day or week.

It's interesting to assess the associations made by the unconscious mind and speculate where, when, and how past thoughts and experiences continue to manifest themselves after the fact. Everything is open to interpretation:

Thanks little fish for reminding me of my dad and planting a seed that would grow in my dreams later that night. 

Or, thanks Dad for speaking to me through a fish, and again in my dreams shortly after. 

Or, thanks Higher Being of many names, that I don't understand or believe in, for appearing to me undetected in a form that I can relate to. 

Or, thanks nonentity of oneness comprised of everything that's ever existed and ever will, for channeling information into the part of our infinite collective being that is my conscious mind at this relative point in space-time.

The way I see it, it doesn't matter. Regardless, my take-away is the same - I am subtly reminded of my place in my own life and in the world, and am encouraged to not lose sight of the goals I've set for myself. Something I can't explain is trying to keep me on the right track. Trying to explain this would be tantamount to bitching about something I'm not willing to do anything about.

Naturally, this philosophy is more simple in theory than in practice, but it has served as a good guideline to finding peace and balance in my own life. If a message, or idea, or thought, or feeling comes up inexplicably and has significance, be grateful. Trust it, noting its positive or negative connotation, and let it inspire you accordingly. Take these bits of insight and use them to guide you, rather than wasting time manipulating what you think you already know to explain or give meaning to the insight. Whether you believe it's a message from God, the Universe, or your own mind has no importance as long as it sparks the drive within to make improvements to your life. The unconscious mind works around the clock so that you don't have to. The key is to convert the pieces you pick up on into the self-discipline essential to achieving your positive potential as a living being.

To put things into perspective, I like to compare my existence to that of a cell in a body that's fighting a virus. I either become a healthy part of the whole and work to make a positive contribution to the life cycle of the living organism I belong to, or I let myself go and become part of a growing problem that could potentially put an end to life as we know it. Simply being aware of the threat and doing nothing is not enough. Neutral beings work in favor of the menacing force by exemplifying the comfort and ease of existing in ignorance, be it intentional, or not. As one cell among billions of others, what I do personally may seem to have so little relative significance. However, I know that if enough of us waging this struggle tip the same way and actively resist long enough, the virus can be forced into remission.